Beautiful Disaster
by TaylorSwiftFan
Summary: I have not had time lately.I am busy with my songwriting and with my band.
1. Where Is Your Heart?

**Chapter 1-"Where Is Your Heart?"**

Now living together,Reba and her boyfriend Jack were seriously dating.He wanted to get married,but she thought it would be better to wait.After her divorce from Brock,she was afraid to go that far again.It was just a scary thing to her.She was also afraid of commiting herself to this man for the rest of her life.He scared her. Of course,nobody knew.She was always known as the tough gal,she never wanted anyone to see her cry.

They had been living together for five months now.Jack even moved into Reba's room with her,which made her uncomfortable.She was always nervous,thinking of what he might try and do.

Of course,they always had small fights over burnning the toast,forgetting to get the mail,and simple things like that.They were now in another fight.

They were sitting in the bed watching television when the power went out."Reba".Annoyed she asked, "What"."Did you pay the bill this month"."Nope,you were supposed to".

"So you are saying this is my fault",Jack asked in an angry tone."Yeah,I payed last month and the rest of this months bills"."Reba"!"You only wanna blame me for everything".

She walked away."Dont walk away from me when Im talking to you",he ran to her and grabbed he arm."Let me go",she said pulling away.He tightened his grip and she pushed him back to get away.He pushed her, causing her to fall down the stairs.

He ran to get to her,"Reba,Reba talk to me".She was waking up.He picked her up and layed her gently down on the couch."Leave me alone",she said sitting up."Honey",he tried to put his arm around her.She just got up and walked away.

Turning back and looking at him,she saw he looked as innocent as a puppy.The many thoughts raced through her mind as to what to do.She loved him,but she couldnt take him anymore.

She got in the car and drove around for a while.About dark she decided to just go home.She walked into the house and went into the bedroom.She shut the door and Jack came out from behind it.

Reba jumped,"What are you doing".He gave her that look and picked her up and layed her on the bed.He postitioned himself on top of her.Reba finally knew what was going on.She fought back yelling "No".

"Damnit get off of me",she pushed him back.He was just too strong for her."Jack,please dont do this to me".She was starting to get a little scared.She couldnt hold him off any longer.She could only scream no,and he just wouldnt take it.


	2. Theres Got To Be A Morning After

**Chapter 2-"Theres Got To Be A Morning After"**

The next thing she knew was when she woke up.She look at her hands,"oh my god".She started to cry,but held back the tears.Jack was no where in sight."I...I...was just...rrr...raped",she forced out of herself.

She was scared to death.Her kids werent home,but still what would they think about their mother being raped?

She just got up from her bed.She couldnt lay there and think about what had just happened.She slowly down the stairs and went into the kitchen.

She made a cup of coffee to wake her up."What am I going to do",she asked herself with tears streaming her face.Barbara Jean was watching her throught the kitchen window.She let her self in,as usual.

"Morning Reba",she said in her perky way.She looked at Rebas pale,scared look.Her hair,usually relaxed and fixed,was ratted and wild.Her eyes,usually a bright blue,were grey and dull.She was shaking.Barbara Jean knew that something was wrong.

She also knew it wouldnt be easy to get it out of Reba.She just sat down by her."Reba,are you okay".She stared out into space,"Fine"."You dont look fine"."Its nothing",she sayed with that blank look."What was going on last night,I mean I heard screaming and all sorts of stuff going on last night".

"Did it worry you",she asked her."Yeah,but...",Barbara Jean was cut off by Reba."Then why didnt you come over and see what was the matter"."Reba...what happened".She was silent.

"Please just tell me.I want to help you.I wont tell if you dont want me to,just tell me"."Jack",she just said.

"He raped me.If you were that worried,then you wouldve came over here.That wouldnt have happened", Reba said quietly and angrily."Oh god,Reba,Im so..."."No,I didnt mean to snap at you"."Its okay".

She put her arms around her best friend."We need to get you to the hospital",BJ told her."Why,what can they do"."A rape kit.Ill explain later,just come on.I saw this on _Strong Medicine _once when that surgeon raped Lu".

"Im not going anywhere.They cant help me".Reba knew what they would do,and it would protect her from STDs or the possibility of pregnancy.She just couldnt think and didnt care at the moment.

"Reba,what are you gonna do then"?"I dont know.You cant tell anyone though"."But Reba..."."Please". Barbara Jean agreed.

"Just leave me alone right now"."Okay,now call me if you need anything at all",BJ said walking out.

Reba let out a sigh and went back upstairs to change out of her clothes.She walked through her bedroom door and took a glance at the bed,then turned her head and went into her walk in closet.

Reba put on a pair of blue jeans and a slightly tight long sleeve shirt on,pulled her medium lenght hair back into a ponytail,and slipped on her favorite black cowboy boots.It just put her a little bit more at ease just to get out of those clothes.

She stripped the sheets off of her bed and put them all in a trash bag."I never throught this would happen to me",she told herself tossing in that outfit into the bag and tying it."Why",she asked as she layed down on the floor crying.


	3. Hear Me

**Chapter 3-"Hear Me"**

The summer was soon over and Kyra,and Jake came home.Reba was still dealing with the rape.She was losing herself and wasnt herself.

Her teenage daughter came in as Reba greeted her,"Hey honey". Kyra pulled her arms out as she tried to hug Reba.She jumped back.

"Whats wrong mom.Are you okay"."Oh yeah Im fine...So how did the shows go",Reba asked trying to get off of the subject."It was awesome.I mean the crowds were going wild and It was just a blast.They were so electric".Reba smiled a her daughters excitment.

"How was your summer",Kyra asked."Fine",she answered quickly."Where is Jack".Reba shrugged."Well Im gonna go upstairs and unpack",Kyra said standing up,"Oh and Im going out tonight with a few friends. Ill be home by midnight tommorrow night.Its an all weekend thing"."Okay".

Jack had yet to come home.Kyra was out with her friends,and Jake was spending the weekend with his friends.Reba was still thinking about what happened that night.She was hurting,and nobody knew,except for Barbara Jean.Even she didnt know how much pain Reba was going though.

Reba just wasnt herself anymore.She couldnt eat,Jack was on her mind.She couldnt sleep,Jack was on her mind.She couldnt think,Jack was on her mind.She couldnt breathe,Jack was on her mind.She just wasnt really there,in a way.

She forced herself into the bathroom and in front of the mirror.She took a long look at herself."What did I do.Did I lead him on.Did I ask for it.Was this all my fault".All of these questions flooded her mind.

"This is all thats left",she told herself as she threw the soap dish into the mirror.The glass broke and she picked up the sharpest peice on the floor.She slid down the wall and proped up against the bathtub.Reba took the glass and sliced open her left wrist.

She was too wrapped up to hear that Barbara Jean had let herself inside.BJ heard a scream and ran upstairs, only to find Reba alone in the bathroom cutting herself.

By the time she had gotten there Reba was on her knees in front of the toilet.She was cutting her stomach,and over the toilet to hold back the mess."Oh god,Reba,stop",BJ yelled at her,"Just please give me the glass".She slipped it once more and handed it over.

"Reba,I thought you were doing better.What happened.You were fine this morning".She stared into space for a moment,then turned her head to face Barbara Jean."I...Im pregnant",she managed to ease out."You mean...Jack"."He didnt use anything when...",Reba quietly told her."Oh god,Reba".

Reba was bleeding badly,to the point where neither one of them could stop it.BJ took her to the emargency room.She was carried in on a gurney.Doctor Lousia Delgado,rushed to her side,"What happened".BJ was too much of a nervous wreck."Reba,can you hear me",Lu asked.She moaned."Reba,are you pregnant,or is it possible that you are".She moaned again.

"Yeah,she just found out this morning",Bj told her."Dana,take over".


	4. Strong Medicine

**Chapter 4-"Strong Medicine"**

"Okay,I wanna know whats going on",Lu asked BJ."Reba was raped by her boyfriend and she just found out this morning that she was pregnant.I knew about it and I had not heard from her in two days so I went to see about her.I heard screaming and ran upstairs.She was holding a piece of glass over her stomach and she was bleeding badly,so were her wrists".

"Okay,how far along is she"."Um,about six or seven weeks Id guess",Bj responded."Okay,where is her boyfriend or husband"."She hasnt heard from or seen him since it happened".

"How are you related to Reba"."I married her ex husband,in a few words"."Does she have anyone we can get in contact with"."Uh,her kids are out of town,her parents are both dead,so no",she looked at Reba,"whats happening to her".

"Before we do anything,we have to try and stop the bleeding.Thats the main thing,then we are gonna take her up to have an ultrasound to see how the baby is doing".

"God,I shouldve seen this comming.But this is nothing like the Reba I knew would do.She was hurting so bad and I didnt see it.She wanted to kill herself"."Its not your fault.Women who have been raped,and never got help with coping with it...they just kinda turn into a different person.Reba cant really help it".

It was at least 20 minutes before they were able to control the blood flowing out of her.She lost a very dangerous amount.Then they took her up to the third floor to do an ultrasound.The odds werent too good for the baby.

Of course,she wanted this baby.She would love the baby no matter what,its just the way that it happened. She had her other three kids to think about.She couldnt tell them she was raped.She couldnt tell them she was pregnant outside of marraige.Especially,now that Jack had left,though she wasnt completely sure of that.


	5. I Hate Myself For Losing You

**Chapter 5-"I Hate Myself For Losing You"**

Hours passed by before any more word got out.BJ had called Brock down to the hospital,and they couldnt get in touch with any of the kids.Barbara Jean finally had to break the news to Brock.

"Brock,you know what I told you earlier about why Reba was in here"?"Yeah"."I didnt really tell you the whole truth"."What are you talking about".

"Shes pregnant",she blurted out remembering her promise to Reba.She knew that she promised,but this was the only way to get Reba the help she needed.Brock was just shocked."Wow,shes the last person Id think of having another baby",he told her with a small laugh,"Plus shes only dating the guy.As long as Ive known her,shed always told me about how wrong having a baby out of wedlock is".

He just laughed,thinking she had gone back on that.Barbara Jean hit him."Ahhh,that hurt.What did I do". "Oh nothing",she said letting out a sigh,"You didnt know"."What is it,I mean what do I not know"."It wasnt exactly a planned pregnancy"."I know she wouldnt plan one outside of marriage".

"She was...raped".Brock couldnt beleive it."What did you say"."She was raped,Jack raped her"."Do you know this for sure"."She told me not to tell,but I knew I had to so she could get help or something".

"Ill beat the hell out of Jack if I ever see him.You do not mess with Reba and get away with it".

"She wanted to get away from the pain and everything,so she tried to kill herself".Brock let his head fall into his hands."Reba..."."You wanna go see her".He asked if they could.BJ went to ask the nurse.

She led them to her."Now just stay with her for only a moment".The nurse walked away."Im gonna go in for a minute by myself,okay"."Yeah".

Brock walked in,put his hand on hers,placed on her stomach."Reba,can you hear me",he asked in a soft tone.She moaned in pain trying to tell him she knew he was there."Do you know whats happening...just blink once if you know whats up"?She blinked."Your baby is fine.The doctors said that its a miracle.I know about the baby and you know everything".

"I know what he did to you.Reba I know he isnt gonna be there for you and this child...but I want to be.I really want to be there to help you raise this child,even though its not mine.Ive watched you raise three beautiful kids,and I love to see you so happy".A tear rolled down Reba's cheek.

"Thank you,Brock.I love you",she managed to muster up.Brock realized at that moment that he had been so stupid in the past."I love you too".It was true,he still loved this woman.He loved BJ and his son Henry,but nothing could compare to the love he had for Reba.

He sat and talked to her forever.It was hard for him to walk away from her.

Then Barbara Jean,of course wanted to come in and see her best friend.


	6. Because Of You I Am Afraid

**Chapter 6-"Because Of You I Am Afraid"**

As BJ came out of Reba's hospital room,she noticed a man sitting by the door.She couldnt beleive it when she realized who it was.Jack was back.He ran over to her,"Bj,where is Reba"."Look",she said,"I dont really think you need to see her".

"Why the hell not",he asked angrily."Because of what you did to her.I know what happened,and where the hell do you come off thinking that you can do that to her.She is my best friend.And what were you thinking just taking off like that"."Am I missing something here,I mean what did I do",acting like nothing was wrong.

"Yeah,if you had been a real man and stuck around,you would know what happened",she stuck up for her friend."Just tell me"."Shes pregnant".He laughed,"No what"."You bastard.You raped her and now shes pregnant with your child".His eyes widened,"And this effects me how"?

"I dont know,but it sure as hell effects her.She is pregnant.She is all by herself.She thinks that no one cares about her.She just tried to kill herselfShe thinks that she is unloved and wants to die.Of course,though if you were here,you would know that.You would know that shes not Reba anymore.She has changed,and its because of you".

He didnt care,"Just let me see her".Barbara Jean gaurded the door,"No,Im not going to let you see her".He tried to push her to the side,but she fought back,"Look,I know this isnt something you understand,but again no means no"!

"Now I know what you think I did is wrong,but I love her"."You sure show it then.I know you do love her but why do you hurt her.Why do you yell at her.Why did you rape her",she asked him."She wanted it.I didnt rape her.She wanted it too".

"I dont think Reba wanted it.When she says no she means it".

He and BJ fought over and over until he made his way into Reba's room.He was just once again,too strong. "Reba",he said."Get away from me,please",Reba told him,"Please".She was noticably shaking.He acted as if he had done nothing,"I heard what happened".She begged him to leave.

Lu then walked in,"Oh I didnt know you had a visitor"."Get,get him away",Reba cried.He walked out,turned to give her a mean look,and left."What was that about",Lu asked her.

"He's the father"."You mean that he raped you".She nodded.

"You know,I want to let him into my life,and let him stay.It would be right for the baby to have a father", Reba told her."But your scared and youre afraid after what he did",Lu finished her sentence."Yeah,but how do you...".

"Ive been raped before by someone I thought I could trust.I didnt get pregnant,but I know how hard it is to raise a child by yourself.I was 16 when I had Marc,and it wasnt easy.I know you could do it.Ive known you forever and I know you've raised three children.I know you could do this alone".

"What should I do",Reba asked."Do what you think is right"."I dont know what is right anymore.Every single thing is just upside down".

"Well you know,if I was in this position I would keep him away from you and the baby.But the thing about it is that Ive never been in this exact situation before,so I really dont know what is going on"."Thanks for actually carin enough to talk to me".

"Where do you get that 'cares enough",Lu wondered."Ive felt like that since this has started".Lu walked out.


	7. You Found Me

**Chapter 7-"You Found Me"**

Reba went home a few days later.She was a nervous wreck.Brock and Barbara Jean had talked and decided it was best for him to stay with her for a few days.The kids had been told everything,and they handled it in their own ways.They just decided to all stay with Cheyenne and Van,just til everything eased up.

She layed up in bed,while Brock sat on the couch downstairs.He had not heard from her in a few hours,so he decided to check on her.It really worried him.

He ran up the stairs and knocked at her bedroom door,"Reba".She told him to come in."Hey honey,how are you doing",he asked sitting down by her on the bed."Okay I guess".She was sitting up against the headboard holding a pillow between her stomach and knees.

She was dressed in blue knit pants and a thin,low cut grey long sleeved shirt.Her hair was parted to the right side and put into two pig tails to each side.Her eyes were just full of fear,and so obviously.Brock knew she only got like this when she was upset.

He looked into her grey eyes,which usually were pools of blue.He took her hand and tried to make her smile, "Reba,arent you happy about the baby ".She was quiet for a moment."Of course,I kinda wanted more kids.But then everything happened.I thought I had found someone,then all this goes on and well...you know".Brock knew alot of this rested upon his shoulders.

"I do want this baby and I will love it no matter what,its just that the way it happened.Im not married, though.You know its always been my thing about an out of wedlock pregnancy"."Its not your fault",he told her."I was so stupid not to see it comming".

"No one sees it comming,until its happened".He saw a tear roll down her cheek.It hurt him so much,seeing this woman he loved in so much pain and when he couldnt do anything about it.Brock put his left arm around her and then pulled her into a hug.

Brock even let out a few tears.How did she stay so strong in that moment,he never knew.Reba let go of the pillow and relaxed in his arms.She knew that she was safe in his arms.She really did still love him,and nothing would ever change that.

"Brock,I love you",she told him while holding on tighter,"I still do and always will".He never really thought she ment it when she told him in the hospital,but she really did."I love you too Reba.You are still my girl".

In his mind he told himself what a mistake it was leaving her,and putting her through all that hell.He wanted her back.

He held on to her as long as she wanted to hold him.She finally let go,and showed a small smile."Ive always thought you had the most beautiful smile.Im right".

"So what do you want the baby to be"."A girl"."I hope she looks just like you,has those red curls,blue eyes,sweet smile"."You know what I want to name her".

"What",he asked."Kelly.I just love that name"."Its beautiful",he told her.

You would think that they were still married.They talked of this baby like it was theirs.Reba just wanted a father for the baby.Brock wanted to be back in her life.It was just supposed to be like that.The fairytale.

"You know Barbara Jean is worried about you".She nodded."Why dont we go see her.Just so she knows how you are doing".Reba got up from the bed.She left her room for the first time in a week.

She slipped on a pair of flip flops and walked with Brock to his house four doors down.She had her shoulders drawn up and her arms crossed.He put his arm around her to make her feel safe.


	8. Im Addicted To You

**Chapter 8-"Im Addicted To You"**

They went on into Bjs house and they all sat down."I didnt think yall were comming over",BJ said."Yeah,me neither.Brock just wanted for me to get out of the house",Reba said said quietly and still drawn up.She really didnt want to be there,she just knew that Brock wouldnt leave her alone unless she left her room.

Brock looked at her,asking if she was okay."I just want to go home",she said getting up and walking out.

Brock ran after her,"Reba whats wrong"."I cant be around her"."Why not,I know you dont like her but still".A few tears fell from her eyes."Shes my friend and I do like her,thats the problem.I cant hurt her like she hurt me".Brock didnt understand."Im in love with her husband".

"What if I told you I was in love with her best friend"."Its not right",Reba said."Who said love was right", he told her as they hugged each other.Brock leaned in for a kiss.

Reba pushed him back,"I told you I cant do this to her,Im sorry".She walked home.He watched her walk away.

Later that evening,she was still in her room.Brock wanted to talk to her so bad,but he knew she just needed to be alone for a while.He just sat on the couch by himself starring at the blank tv set.

A few moments later,he heard footsteps and turned around to see Reba walking down the stairs.She sat down beside him on the couch,"What are you sittin here so quietly for".

He didnt answer."Ive been thinkin about what happened earlier",Reba told him."Me too".

"Since I found out I was pregnant,and everything else thats happened in this past week,I found myself turning to you again.I guess I never really got over what happened between us.I just have been tryin to fight these feelings for the past six years,and I cant just forget about us".

"I know,I do love Barbara Jean and of course my son Henry,but that cant take away from what we had.I really wish that I had not done what I did,but I did.I want to make things right.I want to be us again".

She leaned in,and they kissed.Reba didnt mean for it to happen,she just got caught up in the moment.

"I dont want to be away from that anymore"."Brock...".

"You know,this baby isnt mine,but I really want to be here for it,and you.I really feel that its mine",he told her,"I want to come back home,Reba"."I want you to come back home too.I want you to help me with this baby.I want you to stay with me.I just want you".

"I want all of that too"."But I cant hurt Barbara Jean like she hurt me.Of course I wanted revenge,but I couldnt go that far".

"You are a good friend,Reba".He pulled his arms around her waist and resting them on her stomach."Oh, woah.That still kinda is sensitive around there",she said referring to her cuts.

"What do you mean".She stood up,sucked in her stomach,and told Brock to easily lift the front of her shirt. "Oh my god".The cuts were long and deep."Reba...".He carefully touched her stomach."I cant beleive that Im standing here again",Reba told him.He pulled down her shirt."I lost it".

"Just sit down,and forget that"."Im gonna go on to bed.Im not really feeling to good"."Okay,but...".He picked her up."Im gonna carry you".She laughed.He carried her up to her room and put her down on the bed.

She kept laughing."I never really knew you were this heavy"."Well technically,you are carrying two.This baby is pretty heavy you know"."You are only two months along,it cant be that heavy.Its you",he smiled, "Im gonna leave you now.Hollar if you need me".He turned to go then came back,"Can I ask you something, I know you might not wanna talk about it,but do you still think about Jack"?


	9. Since U Been Gone

**Chapter 9-"Since U Been Gone"**

She layed there still for a while,"Yeah".He sat down by the side of her bed,"What do you think".

"About how it used to be,then after what he did.Then I start thinking about him being gone.I think about how it would be if he stayed,you know.What would that be like".He listened to her talk,as if it was the most beautiful sound."I do wish this baby had a father,the real father.I just feel selfish being happy about him being gone though"."You shouldnt.You are protecting you and the baby".

"I am glad though about it.I can breath for the first time and feel like I dont have to hide"."It makes you feel better knowing your safe"."Yeah,Im just moving on".

"You know that Im gonna be here no matter what"."And I love you for that.I could never ask for more from you.I dont know what I would do if you werent here"."I know you couldve made it by yourself.Youre a strong woman".

"Are you okay,you look a little nervous"."Im fine,I just...I still get so nervous"."I dont know how anyone could do this to you"."Everything happens for a reason",she told him.

"And what was the reason for you being raped"."I dont know.I still have that night playing in my head over and over again".He put his hand on hers."You know,it took five minutes for him to rape me,but it takes a life time to get over it for me".

"Its not fair to you,or anyone else"."I dont wanna be pushy,but Im just tired and want to go to sleep"."Oh okay.Ill see you in the morning".

He took her blanket and covered her up."I love you",he said as he walked away.


	10. Beautiful Disaster

**Chapter 10-"Beautiful Disaster"**

A few months passed.Things seemed to settle down a bit.Kyra left for college,Jake moved in with Brock,and then of course Cheyenne and Van had their own place.Reba got very lonely,of course she would rather be lonely alone.She would rather be alone than with Jack.

She was now close to five months pregnant,and had grown a bit in size.Brock had moved back home,but pretty much just stayed with Reba.He didnt want to be away from her for more than a minute.

Now 21 weeks along,Reba was laying on her bed.Brock was sitting in a chair beside her.

"You havent told me what the baby is yet,you know",Brock said."I dont know,when I was pregnant with our kids before,you never wanted to know"."Please",he begged.She smiled at him.

"Its a girl",he said."Yes",Reba answered excitedly.He jumped up and they hugged each other.He knew she was very excited,but still upset about the situation."Im so happy for you".

"I am too.I cant wait"."You know,youve taken what was a sad rock bottom situation,and turned it into something beautiful.I do not know how you did it.You are such a strong woman".

"Ive got something to tell you also".She pulled away,"Whats going on".He pulled a set of papers from his back pocket."Im filing for divorce".

"What the hell is wrong with you",Reba said slapping him."She understands,whats wrong"."Whats wrong is leaving your wife and your son.What made you want to do this".

"You.I love you.I cant help but live in the lies that I still do love you.Knowing your pregnant again made me go back to all of it.I want to be with you again.I want to get back to it all".

"No,no,no,no,no,no!I dont want to be the reason your marriage is breaking up"."She knows I want to be with you"."Well look,Ive been hurt like that before.Im not gonna do that to someone else".

"You are not.Its been rocky for a while.I just wanted to make it final,and I want to come back home"."I dont know what to say"."Say I can come back home".

"I cant tell you right now".He understood of course."Okay"."Ill be back in a little while".With that she left the room.

She walked next door to BJs.

"Come in",Bj cheerfully yelled.Reba came on in."Hey buddy,I havent seen you around lately.Hows the baby"?"Fine,but Im not".

"Whats wrong",she asked."I know about you and Brock getting a divorce"."Oh.Yeah things werent working out anyway"."You dont act too upset"."Im not.I know why he wants to leave"."Really".

"Im not dumb".Reba rolled her eyes."I know he wants to come back to you.I told him I knew,and I wanted you two to be happy"."But I dont want to hurt you"."You wont.I want to give you my blessing". 

"I dont know what to say",Reba told her."Say that you two will make the best of it together"."Im glad to think of such a wonderful person to be my best friend"."Really",BJ asked shocked.

Reba nodded."Woah,oh",she said,placing her hand on her stomach."You okay"."The baby just kicked".She let Barbara Jean feel."I loved being pregnant with Henry,I just love that feeling"."Me too,Im gonna go".She left.


	11. Gone

**Chapter 11-"Gone"**

Later that evening she came home."Hey",Brock had been waiting up on her."Hey"."Where have you been"."Oh I was over at Bjs.Shes handling it pretty good.She wants us to be together".

"I know,I want us to be together too"."You arent the only one",she said leaning in for a kiss.He wrapped his arms around her as they layed back on the couch.

That night,Brock stayed with Reba.They were sitting on the bed watching tv,when Reba felt a pain."Ah,oh my god",she screamed clutching her stomach."You okay",Brock asked getting a little nervous."I think Im ok...Oh god.Somethings not right,Brock".

She got up from the bed and fell to the floor."Im gonna get you to the hospital",he said trying to help her up."I cant move",Reba said after taking a few steps.He picked her up and carried her to the car.

He drove fastly to the hospital,and she was rushed up to a room.Brock waited anxiously outside,pacing the floors."What could be wrong with her",he asked himself.

Ten minutes later the doctor came out,"Dr.Hart".He jumped,"Yeah,whats goin on with Reba"."Well,Reba aparently had been put under a great deal of stress.We thought we were gonna lose her,but shes fine now.The baby,well the chances werent so good,and Im sorry".

"She didnt make it",he asked."Im sorry,is there anything you want or need me to do"."Yeah,say something useful",he said getting up and walking into Rebas room.

"Hey",she said in her rough,sad voice."I heard"."I dont know what happened.I havent been stressing lately,like he said",she told him as tears flowed down her cheeks."Its okay Reba,she just wasnt ment to be born.Its not your fault".

"I know but I still feel as if it is"."Its gonna be okay",he said holding her in his arms.

She took it pretty hard.This baby wasnt planned or intended,but she loved it.She wanted it,and wouldve cared for it.Reba really wanted to be a mom again,but she knew this was her last chance.It was gone.


	12. Walk Away

**Chapter 12-"Walk Away"**

The weeks that followed the tragedy werent easy.Brock,whos divorce was final,wasnt as much upset for the baby,as he was for Reba.She felt in some way at fault,which wasnt true.

Brock really was worried about Reba,she never felt like eating and she had trouble sleeping.He knew she wasnt the same and maybe she wouldnt be.He finnaly decided she wasnt getting any better,so he thought it would be a good idea to take her to a therapist.She just wouldnt talk to anyone,which wasnt like Reba.

He figured it was finnaly time to talk to her about at least goin to a weekly session.He sat down with her at the kitchen table."I know this isnt easy for you,and I wanted you to go to talk to someone"."You mean you want to take me to talk to a shrink"?

"I want you to be happier,eat,sleep,smile...and mean it"."No,Im not gonna talk to any stranger".

"Im scared Reba,I know the things you used to do.It worries me"."Brock,I was 16 and it was high school.Im not like that anymore"."What about what happened earlier.You know",he asked.

"Im not gonna take this",Reba angrily said walking away."Reba...".She kept walking.He knew to let her go and she would be back.

She walked outside,got in her car and drove off.She stopped in the parking lot behind the walmart,and let a few tears out.

Back at home,hours had passed and Reba still wasnt back.Brock knew it would be a waste to go look for her because being the hard headed one she was,she wouldnt come home for him.

Reba knew it was time to go back home,but she didnt want to deal with Brock treating her how he was.She just needed to be by herself for a while.

He knew sometimes she didnt want to lie anymore,she just knew it was best to leave it alone and walk away.


	13. Behind These Hazel Eyes

**Chapter 13-"Behind These Hazel Eyes"**

It was early the next morning when Reba came in.Brock was sitting on the couch waiting on her.He had not slept the whole night,just being worried.

"Hey",he said."Hey,Brock"."Are you okay",he asked just tryin to make conversation."Yeah,Im better.I think I just needed to be alone for a while".

She sat down beside him,as he put his arm around her."Im sorry about how Ive been actin lately.Ive been gion through alot of things and Im just sorry"."Its okay",he said hugging her.She rested her head on his shoulder,"I do thank you for trying to help me.No one else has done more for me than you have and I appriciate it more than anything".

''Behind those hazel eyes,its a whole different story.You always pretend you are okay,but then I look in your eyes and I see that you are hurting.Why do you do this",Brock said.

"Im always the strong one,and I cant let you or anyone see me cry because I know thats a sign of weakness to my kids.I dont wanna be the weak one",Reba confided in him.

"Reba,look,everyone has their weak spots,and strong spots.You dont always have to be the strong one".

"Yeah I do",she said,"Who would hold the family together"."Everyone can make it theirselves"."I guess Ive always just been afraid of them being hurt like I was".He pulled away from her and looked into her eyes, "You are such an amazing woman".Reba was crying.

"I know".They both let out a quiet laugh."I love you so much"."I love you too".He smiled at her and pulled her on top of him on the couch.She didnt resist.

They kissed pasionatly as they undressed each other.Reba was in her jeans and bra,and Brock was in his boxers,when she finally spoke up."I love you Brock,but Im just not ready for this much again"."Im sorry,I just got into the moment"."No,Brock.I have to do this again sometime,I mean I cant live in fear forever".

"Are you sure,honey",he asked,"I dont want to make you do anything you dont feel comfortable with"."No, Im sure",she smiled at him.


	14. Never Again

**Chapter 14-"Never Again"**

The divorce was now final between Brock and Bj,and he had moved in with Reba.Barbara Jean wasnt as upset as some might think she would be.She was just happy that her best friend had someone that she loved to be with her,considering what all had happened to her in the past year.

Of course,Reba and Brock spent every second together.They were in love and it was never really over when Brock was going through his mid life crisis.

It was now the 28th of July.Reba was wearing a hole in the floor pacing back and forth in front of the bathroom door.Like clockwork,Reba always would receive her monthly visitor on the 27th,and she was a day late.

She couldnt beleive the thoughts running through her head,as if they were branded in her mind."Am I really pregnant again",she seemed to scream out."I dont think this is the right time to be bringing a baby into the family.I dont know what I was thinking.I mean,not with this drinking".

It was true,Reba had got caught in the bottle.Everything was fine,but she was still trying to get over the rape,losing her baby,and the feeling from what happened with BJ,even thought she said that she was fine. Okay maybe things werent fine,but it seemed that way.

Brock entered their bedroom and saw Reba pacing and talking ot herself."Hey honey whats going on",he asked."Hey,nothing"."Oh",he wrapped his arms around her waist,"You seem like youve got something on your mind".

Her smile turned off and she just let go.The timer went off."Whats that for,"Brock asked".He walked into the bathroom right behind her,"Oh,I see...Are...are you".

She picked up the pregnancy test and looked over at him,"Its two pink lines...its positive".He wasnt sure what he was feeling,but what guy does.He ran picked her up and hugged her,"This is great".She smiled at him.He wanted to make her feel good,if she wasnt happy or even if she was.

"I cant beleive it.I cant be pregnant,I mean this has to be wrong"."Honey,this is great,if you wanna be sure then we will go to the hospital tommorrow and confirm it,okay"."Yeah".

Later that night,Brock was still thinking about what happened earlier that day.He could not imagine what was going on,but he wanted to find out.He just decided to take a walk for a while for some time to think,so he went to the closet to get out a pair of shoes.

Then he saw it.He picked it up and read the label on it.Now he knew what it was that had been bothering her.He knew what it was that she couldnt tell him.How would he bring it up now.She couldnt be doing this anymore,thats why she was so upset about being pregnant.


	15. And I Know That Its Never Really Over

**Chapter 15-"And I Know That Its Never Really Over"**

Reba then came in and saw Brock holdin her bottle of shnopps."Oh,Brock"."I know whats going on now"."I dont know what to say"."Say this isnt yours",he told her,"How long had this been going on"."Its hasnt been going on",she answered.He looked at her.

"About six months,right after we lost the baby",she said fighting back tears,"Its just everything has been so screwed up.The past year has been like Hell on Earth for me.I just thought that one drink would make me feel better,then I couldnt stop".

"Thats why you are worried about being pregnant",he asked."Yeah,Im afraid it might hurt the baby"."Well honey,Im gonna help you fight this,that is if you want help.Its not for sure about the baby either,right?"."I do want help.Ive just never known what to say to you to ask".

"You know you can always just come right out with anything"."I know that,now".He hugged her and she held on tight,"I never want to let go"."You dont have to".

The next morning they both woke up early and went to the hospital.They anxiously awaited the results of the test.Reba wasnt ready for another child,and Brock didnt really need another.

"Reba Hart",he called."This is it",she went back into the room,then came back out.Brock stood up,"Honey, just tell me".

"Its a false alarm.Im not pregnant"."Woah,you okay"."Yeah Im fine",she smiled."We have to be alot more careful next time"."I know",Brock agreed.

"Can I talk to you",Reba asked him."Sure".They sat down and Reba rolled up her sleves,due to her sweating.She began to talk when Brock asked,"What the hell is that".Reba looked inocently up at him.

He took her arm and saw the cuts,"You promised me that this was over"."Brock...look..."."Reba you have to stop doing this to yourself.Just tell me why"."Because Im scared.You know when I do this I forget every thing else thats going on".

"Honey,just stop".She gave him an angry look.He tried to hug her,but Reba started hittin him to get off of her."Reba,honey",Brock tried to calm her down.She just stopped and let him hold her in his arms.


	16. Picked All My Weeds But Kept The Flowers

**Chapter 16-"Picked All My Weeds But Kept The Flowers"**

Reba and Brock went home and talked.Reba told him that she wanted help,and they decided to take one step at a time.

She had to quit the bottle.They drained out all of her stash and from the kitchen."Reba,now are you okay". "Yes,I wanted to do this,and Im gonna keep at it".

"Ive been down this road before,so I know its not easy",Brock told her."I know it wont be...Brock,Im scared"."I know honey,I know",putting his arm around her."Okay,lets just get this over with"."Okay,Ill be right back",he said walking out the back door to get a trash bag from the garage.

Reba waited a moment,then picked up a bottle.She started to sip and then drink it.Brock came back in not noticing her at first,"Hey Reba,wha...No,what are you doing".She didnt know what to say.

He took the beer from her hand."You cant do this"."It was only one sip",she shot back.He stared at the quarter of a bottle that was left.

"Brock,lets get this over with".He was willing to let that go for the moment.They finished out clearing the bottles.Then they went upstairs.

"Okay,I want you to tell me why you were drinking down there"."I dont know,I was just thirsty".He gave her a look as if he knew she was lying."I know drinking is hard to get over and thers a long road ahead,but dont give up so easily".

"Im sorry",she said."I wish you didnt have to walk this road"."Well sometimes you just have to pick your weeds but keep the flowers".


	17. This Could Break My Heart Or Save Me

**Chapter 17-"This Could Break My Heart Or Save Me"**

Reba had been sober for three months now.She did secretly have a drink or two when Brock was turned,but she was doin so much better.Brock couldnt beleive how good she was doing.

"Reba,I want to ask you something",Brock said sitting down with her at the kictchen table."Honey,what is it,Oprah is on and shes interviewing Terri Clark".

"I know Ive been stupid in the past,and I regret everything.I just want to go back to what we had".She knew he wanted to get remarried.

Taking her eyes from the tv and turning her to him,"Woah".She jumped up and hugged him,"Yes.This could break my heart again or save me,but Im willing to risk it for you".

She was still kinda stunned he asked,but knew it was comming.They were ment for each other and nothing could change that.

"You know we can never be what we were.I just want to know this now,are you marrying me for the person I was then,or who Ive become now".

"Who you are now,honey.I loved you then and Ive watched you change into the woman I still love now".

"What will Barbara Jean think about us",Reba asked in a carring way."I dont care"."I love you",he said as they hugged.

"When though"."As soon as possible",he answered."I really dont want a big wedding,just in the courthouse".He asked if she was sure.Brock was willing to go the extra mile to make her happy.

They decided to set the date for that weekend.Neither one of them wanted to wait any longer than they had already.The seven years they were divorced were hard on them,especcially Reba.She loved him so much and knew it was right.

That Saturday,August 6th,they married again.As they kissed in that courtroom,they felt a spark.

They were never ment to be apart,they were made for each other and it was very obvious.It wasnt ment for Brock to leave Reba for Barbara Jean in the first place,but it happened.

Maybe that happened for th best.Who knows,but what mattered was that they were together again.


	18. Thinking It Through

**Chapter 18-"Thinking It Though"**

Now married for six months,things had seemed to cool down.Barbara Jean was happy for them being together again.It did hurt her,but she didnt fight for him.She was the one who had stolen him from Reba in the first place.

BJ knew they were ment to be.She couldnt help smiling when she seen how happy Reba was again.She had never known her to be that happy for the near decade they had known each other.

Bj and Reba had sat down to talk one day in the kitchen at Reba's house.They had been quiet and Barbara Jean had to break the silence,"So how many more kids do you think you are gonna have".Reba laughed.

"I couldnt take another baby,though I do miss having one around.I do want one too.I just dont have the time and Im too old".

"Your not too old.You are only 40"."Well I guess,but Im not gettin off of my birth control until we are both completly sure",she laughed not meaning it.

"So how are you and Brock making it along",she asked again.

"Great.I really think we were supposed to be together.But I still feel wrong for taking him away from you"."You didnt.I had a choice,and I wanted him to be with you.I knew he would help with Henry still,and my kid and you are the most important people to me".

"Ive been mad with you for years because you took him from me...".BJ cut her off,"Just let this go okay". Reba nodded."Im happy for you and him.Im happy you love each other and you have someone with you.Im happy you have your best friend back.Lets just leave it at that".

Just then Reba started getting a head ache,or what she thought was one.The room started spinning, "Barbara Jean,I dont feel too good".She noticed Reba didnt look to good,yet only three seconds ago she was perfectly fine.

Reba clutched her stomach when it made a loud noise.Something was wrong."Maybe I should go lay down in my bed",she said standing up.

Reba fell on her knees,"Im fine".The room started to spin again and she fainted.BJ tried to wake her up,then yelled for Brock.He came running down the stairs,"Hey Bara...REBA!What happened".

"I dont know.She said she didnt feel good then she was gonna go lay down and she fainted"."Come on lets get her to the hospital".He picked her up gently and carried her to the car.

They rushed to the hospital.


	19. Im Alright

**Chapter 19-"Im Alright"**

Reba had been put in a room and they had not heard a thing in over an hour.Of course,they started to worry.

"Shes been back there forever",Bj said as they saw the doctor comming to speak to them."Reba Harts family".

"Thats us",he said standing."How are you related to the patient"."Im her husband",he said proudly,"Now whats going on with my wife".

"Her appendix seems to have ruptered",he explained."Well what does that mean"."It means that we had to operate imediatley or we would have lost her.She is okay and everything is okay".Brock let out a sigh of releif."When can I see her"."Right now,but she is just comming out of surgery and is still hurting a bit so just try not to stay to long".

He went on back to Rebas room.She didnt know they were there.She was still in too much pain from the surgery.

Brock put his hand on her forhead and kissed her softly on the lips,"You gave us quite a scare,honey",he said as he ran his fingers through her red,soft hair."I was real worried.I thought something was seriously wrong,well maybe worse than it was.I dont know what I wouldve done without you".

She was beginning to wake up."Brock",she said so quiet that it was barely heard over the machines."Reba, its okay.You dont have to talk right now.Just relax.".She raised her hand and put it on his.

"Im okay,honey.Dont worry".She winced in pain."Bj wants to come in a see you"."I just want you to sit here and be with me right now".He pulled up a chair and held her hand while she slept.


	20. A 'Different' Reba's Mistakes

**Chapter 20-"A Different Reba's Mistakes"**

The next morning she woke up and he was right beside her."Good mornin",he said as she opened her eyes."Brock,what are you still doing here"."I wanted to stay with you just in case you needed me".She smiled at him.

Reba tried to easily force herself to a sitting position.Brock had to help her."You feelin any better,honey". She nodded,"A bit"."The doctor said you must have been hurting for a while if this had happened and been this serious",he said looking at her.

"Well my stomach had been hurting for a while,but I didnt think anything was wrong.I figgered it was something I had eaten and it would pass".

Just then the doctor walked in,"Ms.Hart,I need to talk to you"."Is something wrong"."No,but I just wanted to tell you that your baby is fine,but it gave us quite a scare".

They both looked up at him confused,"What are you talking about"."Oh you didnt know".Reba nodded no,"I really dont think Im pregnant".

"Ms.Hart,you are.I know what Im talking about",the doctor told her,"And you are about four months along".With that he walked off.

"Woah,Brock Im pregnant",she said on the verge of tears."Honey this is gre...wait a second",he finally realized,"I thought we were using protection.You are on the pill arent you".She didnt say a word."Did you get off of it because you were supposed to tell me".

"Once I did but it wasnt with you",she forced herself to tell him."Reba,what the hell.With who".

She took a deep breath,"Jack".His eyes widened."He called and stupid me went over there thinking he really was gonig to apologize,and he tricked me into going into the bedroom again and it just happened".

Brock was upset about not being the babys father,and also mad about Reba doing what she did."We are married,Reba,dont you get that"."Yeah,I really dont want to be here.I do want you to be the babys father.I wont be seeing Jack again"."I dont know if I can hold you to that Reba".

"Hes dead,Brock"."What"."He died in a car wreck three weeks ago",she explaned."I dont know what to say"."Say that you wont divorce me".

"I dont care how stupid of a thing that you do,Im not going through that again and breaking everyone up.I know you better and thats not you".

"Brock,I know what you did to me and I cant beleive I did that,but Im sorry".He hugged her."Honey,look Im really upset but its gonna be okay.I dont care if Im to over the top about this but I dont want to go through this".

"I dont know what Id do if I didnt have you.You saved me.You found me when no one else was lookin.I hate myself for this".She started to cry.


	21. Thats All She Wrote

**Chapter 21-"Thats All She Wrote"**

The following months seem to pass pretty quickly,except to Reba.Carrying the baby took its toll on Reba,adding the fact on that she was now 40 years old.The three months were hard on everyone though.Three months now meaning Reba was nearly eight months along.

It had been a tough time.Brock constantly worried about Reba.She seemed to just fade slowly.The old Reba was missed.She was in pain.Knowing what she did with Jack.There was just one detail that she didnt get into though.One thing that she didnt mention to Brock...Jack had sliped a knife to her throat and once again she was forced to go through with it.She just didnt want to be babyed and treated like a defenceless child.Thats why she didnt mention the whole story.

She didnt want to seem weak to everyone...anymore.

It was the day she had thought about for months now.She wrote the note over and over in her head.

_Brock,_

_Honey,I love you and dont take this the wrong way.I just needed some time to be by myself for a while.After all that has happened lately I think I need this.You see,there was more to the story about me and Jack that I told you.Its really been on my mind and I think I need to go.I made a mistake not telling you before. _

Her bag was packed and hid in the back of the closet.She wrote a note and left it on the counter for everyone to find.She got in the car and drove away.She needed sometime to be alone now.By midnight,she was gone.

The next morning Brock awoke to find a scribbled note on the kitchen counter.

_Brock,I need to go now.Ive got alot to think about and need time alone.I love you and please dont be upset with me.._

_-Reba-_

And that was all she wrote.


	22. A Road And A Little Gasoline

**Chapter 22-"A Road And A Little Gasoline"**

Brock didnt know exactly what to do.Where was Reba.Where would she go.What was she trying to do.What happened.Why did she slip.All of these questions and more flooded his mind.He decided it was best to keep it to himself for the time being.He just told everyone that she went on a short vacation.He himself wondered though if it was to be a short trip.

Days would pass by before knowing anything as to where Reba was.Then three days gone by he recieved a phone call from a pay phone."Brock".He heard her beautiful voice say his name.

"Reba,honey where are you",he asked worried."Im in town.Ive been at the hotel and I just wanted time to be alone.I really want you to come down here.I need to talk to you.Its room 134".He aggreed and rushed down to her room.

She let him in and told him to sit down.He pulled her down on his lap,"Now honey whats wrong"."I lied to you when I told you about the baby.I know I have to tell you.I didnt sleep with him".Brock jumped,"What,then who did you sleep with".

"Well it was Jack,he did it again".He knew what was wrong and he pulled her over and tightly held her into a hug.She was crying,"Im tired of being strong".

He didnt know what his wife was going through and neither did anyone else."I know honey,I know.You just cant run away like this though".

"I didnt want to but I knew I needed to be alone to think this over.I dont know what to do anymore.I dont know whats right.I just know everything is going wrong"."Its gonna be okay,Im here and no matter what happens,I always will be".

At that moment Reba knew everything was gonna work out.She knew as long as she had Brock,she could do it.

He talked her into finally comming back home.


	23. Reba's Song

**Chapter 23-"Reba's Song"  
**Two weeks later everything was back to normal.Jack was gone and Reba was finally at rest.She no longer worried about him comming back.

Just a bit over 8 months,Reba layed on the couch.She was growing a bit in size everday,or at least it looked like it.She was reading a book while the song _Because Of You _played in the background.She put down her book and listened to the words of the song.

_My heart cant possibly break when it wasnt even whole to start with..._

_Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk._

_Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I dont get hurt. _

_Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything._

_Because of you I dont know how to let anyone else in._

_Because of you Im ashamed of my life because its empty._

_Because of you I am afraid_

A tear fell from her cheek.This was just her song.She kept the song on repeat for a while until Brock came in,"Hey sweetie,how are you doing"."Okay I guess",she said just before the baby kicked."I never get tired of this".He placed his hand on Rebas stomach.

"Oh my gosh",she exclaimed."Honey"."I think Im okay.I just am gettin this sick feeling"."You oaky"."I think,I guess Im just hungry".

"When did you last eat",he asked."Three days ago"."Honey,are you tryin to starv yourself",he said with a laugh."It feels like my stomach is shrinking,cause Im not hungry anymore"."Trust me its not shrinking". They both laughed.

Then Reba felt the pain begin.She was going into labor.Brock instantly knew the moment she bent over clutching her stomach.

He helped her out to the car and he rushed her to the hospital.


	24. Starting Over Again

**Chapter 24-"Starting Over Again"**

Reba was resting comfortably in her hospital room.Brock was there with her while she slept.Their baby girl was now sleeping in the nursery.When Reba awoke,she requested to see her little girl.

Reba held her in her arms.She was so happy to be a mother again."Wanna hold her,Brock".He nodded and carefully took the child from his wife,"Whats her name".

She knew exactly what she was gonna name her,"Kelly".He throught it was beautiful.Kelly had been such a "beautiful disaster" in a way."Okay,now give her back.You know Ive always been attached to all my babies".He laughed as he handed her back.

Reba put her finger down and Kelly grabbed on tight."What a grip you got",she said grinning from ear to ear.Brock never knew her to be this happy.Having this baby was the thing she needed to make her feel whole once again.He loved to see her happy.

Kelly had blonde hair,passed down from Rebas recessive trait.She also had hazel eyes like her mother.She didnt seem to resemble her father at all.It must have been a good thing.

The next day Reba brought home her little girl,Kelly Brianne Hart.Everyone was very excited that mother and baby were home and okay.It had been wild for the past two years,but they made it.They had plotted a new course.


End file.
